Dogs Do the Funniest Things Essay Contest Winner: Jordan

In May, Best Sticks held an Essay Contest asking our fans to submit stories of their funny dogs. Dogs are, after all, are a great source of fun and laughter in our lives!

The winning entry from Brittany C. about their Pitbull named Jordan is below. He’s quite the character, as you will see!


Jordan in the back seat Funniest Things essay contest Best Bully Sticks


“We knew right away Jordan was meant to be ours. Named after Michael Jordan for his superb jumping skills, our rescued pitbull came bursting into our lives full of energy and love. He was our foster pup for a whole 5 minutes before we wanted to make it official, mainly because of his hilarious personality. God certainly has a sense of humor, and he brought us Jordan as a reminder to lighten up a bit!

I wish I could pinpoint just one instance where Jordan has brought us tears of joy and laughter, but really he is a clown all the time. Everything he does is inappropriate, awkward, or absurd. A svelte 70 lbs of solid muscle, this “vicious” pup has literally dragged mom through any obstacle, including bushes, to avoid getting wet in the rain. We have told him repeatedly he is not made of sugar, but I suppose he didn’t buy it. Jordan jumped out of our second-story window when mom dared to leave him for 5 minutes alone in the house. (Luckily he was not hurt, especially lucky since it was the day after he was neutered.) Given the choice of any seat in mom’s car, he chooses to squeeze his 70 lb body into the small wedge of space below the rear car window.

Jordan literally ate 50% of mom’s diploma, especially embarrassing since she had to bring it into the bank to qualify for a home loan a few days later. When people are eating, he slowly army crawls towards any piece of food, hoping he is so stealthy you won’t see him sneak up. He howls in his sleep and takes up 80% of any bed he shares. He has expensive taste, using only the finest of Direct TV remotes as chew toys because let’s face it, they’re much more tasty than Comcast remotes. He has chewed through 4 metal crates, pooped on a laptop, eaten DVDs and sponges, peed the bed, ate part of the carpet and banister, chewed through the door, and sat on his much smaller sister when they play.

I have repeatedly been asked why we keep this dog after all the things he has destroyed. Jordan is our reminder that memories are more valuable than “things,” that love is more precious than possessions, and laughter is truly the key to a life well lived. We think our dog is bonkers and hysterical. He may have taken the long route to get to us, but we know he was truly meant to be our jester.”

Sleeping in the back seat

Rest assured, this mischievous boy (and mom and dad) got some treats for his troubles!

Thank you, Brittany, for sharing this great essay on your funny and lovable Jordan! It certainly made us smile :).

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